Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
