just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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