my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
