i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Nobody cheats on THIS.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
