We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
