Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
