Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
