well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
