Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
