And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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