bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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