dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
