I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
That reminds me...we need to get swords
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize