If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
