I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
