he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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