in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
