I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
