Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
