ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
should my penis look like a turkey
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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