I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
