These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
