Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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