If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
