There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
