You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
