hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
