I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
