You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Two words: nipple clamps
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