Ambien. No doubt about it.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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