i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
