And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
