At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
