Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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