My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
