Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
