Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
