Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
