The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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