Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
