We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
