he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
