Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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