its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize