So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
