I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
