dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
