dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
