I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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