I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
