I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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