i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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