I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
