Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
