Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize