he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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