If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
