Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
