There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
