Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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