We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
