You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
